Pathogenic

Pathogenic [adj] (paa thoh jehn ihk)

1. Causing disease

--

"You must be pathogenic."

"Unlikely."

"Unlikely as it is, you can't ignore evidence."

"I wouldn't go as far as to call it 'evidence.'"

"The absence of three-out-of-five of our co-workers at work today?"

"Coincidence."

"The surplus of tissues in your wastebin."

"Allergies."

"And finally: The absence of Purell in your purse."

"I hate the smell.  And I heard its bad for jewelry."

"People dropping dead around you; sniffles, coughing, and sneezing, plus a distinct lack of hand sanitizer? Ladies and gentlemen, Typhoid Mary has arrived."

"Oh, please, for the love of - ... "

"You're about to sneeze, aren't you?"

"..."

"You're not going to grab a tissue, are you?"

"..."

"You're going to -"

"Bless me."

"Ew.  I felt that."

"Well, if you were right, I was going to give it to you anyway. Welcome to the pathogenic fold, my sickly fellow."

Perfunctory

Perfunctory [adj] (per funk tor ee)

1. Done in a routine way
2. Indifferent

--

The commute to work each morning is never perfunctory; the ride home, however, always is.

While I am aware that time cannot be elongated or truncated, it always feels like my 30-mile drive is quite a bit shorter in the morning than it is in the afternoon.  As a result of this lapse in the time-space continuum, my drive home is often an indifferent one - ignoring the scenery, the vast snow-topped mountains and glistening evergreens for the sake of getting home.

But, then again, I'd rather have an indifferent ride than an eventful one.  Now, off to my perfunctory drive. 

Canard

Canard [noun] (kuh nard)

1. A lie

--

It would be a canard to say that 15-30 inches of snow doesn't phase me.  If I was to hear one of my dear Channel 3 News meteorologists look into the camera and say that the Dooz-o-meter has broken as a result of the impending snow storm, my native Vermonter blood would proceed to glaze.

However, I would still face the day, as my my Green Mountain blood is 20% anti-freeze.

It would appear that this meteorologist's blood is not so chemically balanced.  As he says, "Oh boy."