Sunday, January 10, 2010


Umbrage [noun] (uhm brihj)
  1. Offense
  2. Resentment

I reserve the right to take umbrage at bad movies.

After paying nearly $10 to see a film which I have seen advertised for a months on end, I expect a certain level of quality once the lights dim in the theater and the projector click-click-clicks on.  And by "quality," I do mean more than the normal Hollywood standards of focus, exposure, and framing (although, not so "standard" with certain films.  See: The Blair Witch Project) - I mean plot, characterization, and reason.

Oh, and respect for established parameters of the universe, if the movie is a slice from a series.

This brings me to George Lucas and his attempt to make Star Wars into a series of bad movies.

The original Star Wars trilogy is a classic, but George didn't see it that way.  George wanted more; he wanted a prequel series.  A series without intriguing characters, driving plot, or even basic comprehension of the Star Wars universe.  In this, he succeeded ... and, as a result, I and thousands of others can take umbrage in a big way. 

The best example of this emotional reaction to George's repurposed "vision" is a 70-minute review of Star Wars Episode One: The Phantom Menace, which systematically cuts down the film by pointing out all it's follies and misgivings while making you snort uncontrollably with random bits of dark humor and pizza rolls.    Check it out and feel the umbrage:

Note: The 7-part series is loaded with profanity, off-colored jokes, and depictions of violence.   View at your own discretion. 

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